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An extract from George Osborne’s statement in the House of Commons on the 2010 Spending Review:

Good kidney function is an essential part of the workings of a modern, civilised society, and the Coalition is determined to ensure that Britain has kidney function second to none in order that we may punch above our weight in the global economy going forward.

Nonetheless, we can no longer tolerate a situation where the long-term unemployed have exactly the same number of kidneys as members of hard-working families who pay their taxes. This penalises virtue and goes against the principles of fairness which guide this government’s actions.

… After a careful look at the options, I have decided that by cutting out waste and duplication in kidney function … and in line with best medical advice that only one kidney is necessary for healthy life, I propose reducing by 50 per cent the number of kidneys currently held by those on benefits. The organs thus freed up will be sold by tender. 

And I thought Marzuki Alie has a problem. Apparently all parliamentarians are a waste of bloody time.